My 56th Birthday

Hard to believe I am so old.

NOW

Inside my head there is this young woman, energetic, vivacious, playful, and loving. She runs and dances and sings and skies and swims in the ocean. She is lean and firm and agile. She always smiles. She has no circles under her eyes, no lines on her face, no grey in her hair. There are no age spots on her hands.

Inside my head that young ME is still in her 20s. Now and then she slips down into her late teens or slides up into her 30s but never, NEVER inside my head is she in her 50s. Never.

We are so conditioned to believe, to feel, that we are nothing without our youth. That life is over for us because the beauty has faded, especially as a woman. Youth & Beauty are the two best things we are lead to believe we have going for us.

Who can deny youth is more attractive than age?

Who can deny beauty is more appealing than age?

We witness the change. We witness the change. We witness the change.  Each decade, we witness the change, the extreme opposite of how it once was. The lessening of heads turning. The disappearance of smiles and looks of appreciation. And one day, there is the realization that by so many we are no longer seen.

As a woman of age, I have learned to look at every person who crosses my path. I smile at the children. I appreciate the youth. I enjoy the beauty. I sense the inner beauty. I admire the wisdom. And of those older than myself, I see a different kind of beauty; it's there, peeking out from the eyes, the smile, the tilt of a head, a thoughtful expression....

Something else I've come to realize is that the people who will say I might be having a mid-life crisis are all young. They haven't a clue what it is like to age. So, I reserve the right to say, "Nope. I'm not having a mid-life crisis. I'm having an awakening of wisdom based solely on knowledge gained through personal experience. Until you have walked in my shoes, your words are meaningless to me. And one day, when you find yourself at my age, remember your criticism, your prognosis for what you judge is my mental state, and then -- if I'm still alive -- come talk to me; we'll compare notes."

Ok, so, wow, I didn't expect this week's blog to be so weird. That's the great thing about blogs, you just never know what's gonna come out, until you write it. So, there you have it.  *smiles*

Until next blog....

Happy Summer!
Kisma