Wednesday, July 30, 2014

A Roller-Coaster Ride

Each of us has heard life referred to as a roller-coaster ride... sometimes we go up and down, around and around, upside down, backwards, and forwards... always moving forward. The ride might stop, and we rest on a plateau for a little bit, sometimes longer for those people who choose to remain stagnant, but for the most of us, we hop back on the ride soon enough and continue the excitement.

On this ride we sometimes join with new people, sit beside them for a bit, perhaps learn their true nature and decide at the next platform, we'll hop out of that car and wait for the next one. Sometimes, we gather those people around us who are really co-creative, non-competitive, and not operating in fear, to join us in that next car-ride. That's when the excitement forms and we squeal in delight, and never step into victim mode with one another when the ride takes us upside down. In that car filled with the ones we love, never is there a competitive nature, when the ride takes us sideways or up, up, up... but rather, that's when our hands reach out and take hold of one another's hands and we climb up, up, up together, not for solo attention.

The roller-coaster ride, shows us the ones who are not trustworthy. The ones who smile to our face, but who have only mean-spirited words to say about us behind our back, which such an attitude is not co-creative, nor supports unity of souls.

The roller-coaster ride, shows us the ones who are supportive. The ones who laugh with us and cry with us, find solutions with us, co-create with us for the benefit of all, and not for self glory or aggrandizement.

The roller-coaster ride, brings like-minded people together, those who are meant to be together. You feel them. You feel at home. You feel secure around them. You know you can trust them with your best intentions. You know you can trust them when you are struggling. You know they will not take everything you say personally when you share your inner worries and concerns. You know they won't make EVERYTHING about themselves. They are balanced. They are happy at their core. They are love at their core.

I guess an important point I'm trying to make is, sometimes like-minded people don't mean we will resonate with them after we take a ride with them, and once you've identified that, you are free to get out of their car. You are FREE to co-create with those who really are aligned with your vibration, and are in the same frequency. In fact, that's very healthy. Never, NEVER, force yourself to be involved with a person you know you do not vibrate with. Yes, this is an ideal outlook. I hear you saying, "Yes, but what about that co-worker at the office who I always butt heads with, we work together?  Or... "Yes, but what about my colleague who always takes everything I say personally?"  Or... "Yes, but we are part of the same team, so how do I choose not to be involved with them?"  Or... "Yes, but he's my boss, now what?" (get a new job... smiles... if you must)  Or... "Yes, but she's my sister."  -- The "yes, buts" can be endless.

However, the answer I believe is simple, and you actually have one action to take. First, respect yourself by not trying to bend-over backwards to appease that person. Don't enable their victim mentality. Stand in your integrity, in your heart space. Center your self. Breathe and relax when you must be in the same space as that person, especially when you FEEL their aggressive energy flying at you. Sometimes your very presence will agitate this type of person as they either envy you (are jealous of you), or your truth mirrors to them something inside them that they need to personally work on and transform. No matter what, always Be kind to them. Rather than interact with them, simply listen and speak only when you need to and never directly to them, but to EVERYONE in the room.

When you are in a situation that involves only the two of you, HOLD your vibration. STAY in your heart center. SPEAK only if necessary. Don't go into their drama. To keep peaceful and aligned, sometimes the best solution to the situation is to excuse yourself and walk away.

You do instantly change the situation by recognizing how involved you need to be with that individual. Never compete with that person, but rather support their goals and celebrate their successes; be understanding of their failures, and above all, hold compassion for them. Pick and choose when you need to be involved with them. Always remember, sometimes the right solution is the easy solution, so don't hesitate to walk away from them. Because staying there and engaging in their pattern only enables their continued aggressive and negative behavior.

No matter what the relationship might be, or what the situation is...

Be the constant peace. Be the constant presence of love. Be the soul.


By Ellie Drew & Mindrol

I AM LOVE, A drop from the eternal ocean
I come from Love, I return to Love

My drop of Love catches a ride on a spark of light
I come to experience, to create
in this playground of God

The light, my container,
A powerful tool - a body with thought and feeling
Allows me earth's precious experience

My drop resides in the center of light
With my heart the only true teacher
I AM LOVE, riding the light until it fades

Lost in the trappings of the mind
Attached to the illusions of experience
I sometimes forget I am Love's perfection

But when I leave this experience of riding the light
I return to Love's embrace
To remember I have always been LOVE

I release the illusion of imperfection
For I am Love, I come from Love, I return to Love

Until next blog...
Wishing you an incredible roller-coaster ride of life with LOVE!


Saturday, July 12, 2014

My 56th Birthday

Hard to believe I am so old.


Inside my head there is this young woman, energetic, vivacious, playful, and loving. She runs and dances and sings and skies and swims in the ocean. She is lean and firm and agile. She always smiles. She has no circles under her eyes, no lines on her face, no grey in her hair. There are no age spots on her hands.

Inside my head that young ME is still in her 20s. Now and then she slips down into her late teens or slides up into her 30s but never, NEVER inside my head is she in her 50s. Never.

We are so conditioned to believe, to feel, that we are nothing without our youth. That life is over for us because the beauty has faded, especially as a woman. Youth & Beauty are the two best things we are lead to believe we have going for us.

Who can deny youth is more attractive than age?

Who can deny beauty is more appealing than age?

We witness the change. We witness the change. We witness the change.  Each decade, we witness the change, the extreme opposite of how it once was. The lessening of heads turning. The disappearance of smiles and looks of appreciation. And one day, there is the realization that by so many we are no longer seen.

As a woman of age, I have learned to look at every person who crosses my path. I smile at the children. I appreciate the youth. I enjoy the beauty. I sense the inner beauty. I admire the wisdom. And of those older than myself, I see a different kind of beauty; it's there, peeking out from the eyes, the smile, the tilt of a head, a thoughtful expression....

Something else I've come to realize is that the people who will say I might be having a mid-life crisis are all young. They haven't a clue what it is like to age. So, I reserve the right to say, "Nope. I'm not having a mid-life crisis. I'm having an awakening of wisdom based solely on knowledge gained through personal experience. Until you have walked in my shoes, your words are meaningless to me. And one day, when you find yourself at my age, remember your criticism, your prognosis for what you judge is my mental state, and then -- if I'm still alive -- come talk to me; we'll compare notes."

Ok, so, wow, I didn't expect this week's blog to be so weird. That's the great thing about blogs, you just never know what's gonna come out, until you write it. So, there you have it.  *smiles*

Until next blog....

Happy Summer!

Sunday, June 22, 2014

As Time Goes On....

I'm no where and everywhere.

Every thought I have seems to jump through many dimensions and not anchor into any dimension. This makes for quite hazy thinking.

I make lists, "Things To Do", "Don't Forget", "Check Out", and even a "WTF" list. I list things on them, not in any priority, just as they come out of me. I even set reminder notices for them and grimace when they ping my ipad or computer and quickly tap the screens (yes I stupidly tap the computer screen, sighs) to shut off the reminder.  So, what good are these reminders?

A few I've completed.

Too many I just shut off.

I don't want to share any deep secrets now. I don't want to open my mind and give a peek in there... nor my heart, least of all my heart. I just want to take walks. Walks in the morning. Walks in the evening. Walks around the neighborhood. Walks to the beach. Even walks around my house.

When I walk around the neighborhood I always stop and smell the roses, or run my hands through lavender bushes as I pass them and bring my hand to cup my nose. Inhaling deeply, I envision a deep serenity calming my mind. Is it troubled?

What? My mind?

I don't know. You tell me.

But I tend to have this thing inside me that catches hold of me and forces me to wake up in the middle of the night, or suddenly stop what I'm doing and focus on words and actions.

Do they match?

Cuz if they don't, then the words are simply meaningless.

And I'm so tired of meaningless words.  I'd much rather not even hear words because more often than not anymore they are really quite meaningless.

So, I stare at plants, watching the light and shadow play with them. Seeing all the shades of color merged together into one living thing. Plants for the most part are pretty spectacular. But then I start to feel... something... and I get up and walk away.

No. I am not walking away from emotion, or what I start to feel. I walk away because my body needs to move and I go in search of music, some song I can feel... it's that feeling that will move my body. It moves to interesting songs. The words of the songs more important sometimes over the music.  I am listening to hear meaning.

I am listening...

and as time goes on I realize, no words will come.

They won't.

Cuz words like those are said in the intensity of a moment, or catapulted by an implosive emotion, or sputtered at the height of excitement... words like those are "caught up in the moment" words. They feel right and good to say in the moment, but as time goes on... they fade.

They fade.... fadddddddddd.... faaaaaaaaa.... ffffffffff....

So why do we hold on to the words?

Oh wait, I know. Because we didn't utter them, they were uttered to us....

So, during this cerebral journey I've asked my self over again and again, "what words have you uttered that ended up being meaningless?"

What words of meaningless promises have you uttered?

What meaningless promises have you said to someone else?  Words, meaningless words, that when you whispered them you meant every meaning behind them, but that you let fade away like a scarf on the breeze?

Well... I watched the scarf take flight by the breeze, closing my eyes, taking a deep full breath. Opening them, I gazed out to sea.

All was calm. I know now what to do. I stood, shook the sand from my feet and went back to my computer....

See what happens when you step inside the mind of a writer when she is frustrated with one of her characters, who keeps insisting on doing things his own way? lol


Did you think this was about you?

Thanks for reading... until next blog...

Sunday, June 8, 2014


Hello my friends,

Well, I'd like you to meet yet another incredible youngster I met in Holland.

Jo von Nuding

So mostly what I really want to say is this guy is a hybrid star child. He's very serious for such a young age because he gets things that most adults don't even see or understand. He's direct (sometimes brutally :-) ), but he's got the most infectious laugh (when he laughs) that lightens the entire room.

And his eyes... beautiful eyes... see close and far away things that most of us just don't bother to take the time to notice.

(Jo, I know this is probably embarrassing you, but I don't care :-P  -- you can't tell me to get out of the room now! lol  By the way, he makes GREAT sandwiches.)

I look forward to the day I can welcome him in my home. 

Ok, so, here's a silly little imovie trailer about you, Jo. It's not the best quality, and you'll hate the way some things look, but, I did it for you, cuz I loves ya!  lol

For Jo:

... next blog, yep, will still be about Holland. lol
So, stay tuned...

Have a GREAT weekend (and for those of you in Norway, rock our world!)

OH... P.S. one day Jo will be a famous photographer! 

Friday, June 6, 2014

His Holiness The Dalai Lama

It must have been in the mid-90s that I knew one day I would meet the Dalai Lama. When he visited Long Beach and then UCI, Irvine, California and I couldn't attend either simply because both events were sold out and no tickets were to be had I thought I'd just have to wait for him to return. Never, in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would meet him in Holland.

Why was it important for me to meet him, listen to him, confirm one simple answer to his one simple question directed to me?

Well the universe works in mysterious ways, and it's the nature of that one question, that one answer that explains all.


So I am in the Nederlands; it is the Thursday following the Youth Camp. The family has eaten dinner and a few of us are in Jaap's office.  Jaap indicates he is going to see the Dalai Lama the coming Monday and without any thought, I reach out and say to him, "May I go with you?"

"No," replies Jaap, and I think seeing the look that comes across my face adds, "It's sold out."

Naturally, I understand, but he suddenly says, "Let me send an email though, it can't hurt to try."

I am excited, hopeful, but trying my best to hold no expectations. We go on about our evening.

Now it is 11:30pm and I am preparing for bed. There is a knock on the door.

"Come in," I say. The door opens and Jaap peeks his head in. "News?" I ask. He comes in and is holding a paper in his hand. He explains that he'd emailed his brother-in-law who was responsible for coordinating the Dalai Lama's visit in the Nederlands, but had not heard anything back and so he'd thought to send off an email to "Esmee", the woman at the University coordinating the attendance.  He'd only sent the email to her about thirty minutes ago, but just received a reply.

"Just ten minutes ago there was a cancellation at your table and so your colleague can attend."

I was elated! We laughed at how I was obviously meant to go! But it didn't stop there, for you see, that following Monday when we arrived at the University in Rotterdam, we were shown to our table #35 that happened to be front and center of the stage! Again, we marveled at the synchronicity of events, and then when Jaap spoke with a colleague who would be one of the speakers and informed me that there was a waiting list of 500 names, neither of us could find an answer as to how I was sitting there. But I knew. The answer was simple. I was always supposed to be sitting there and the Universe did what it always does: it co-created with me, or I with it. Who knows, but I was upfront and center stage to hear the Dalai Lama speak.


First off, while I respect Buddhism,  I am not interested in following it as a religion as I truly feel all religious orders from the last age are fading and evolving into something broader and more applicable to our current needs of the new earth. What these new religions or rather, what these NEW WAYS are, I believe, those of us walking spiritual pathways are co-creating, and so as we lay down foundations upon which new thinking can be paved upon, all we can really do is trust the process.

During his visit to the Nederlands in 2009, H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama spoke to us of The Paradox of Our Age. He said:

"We have bigger houses, but smaller families, more conveniences, but less time; 

We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but more problems; more medicines, but less healthiness;

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble in crossing the street to meet the new neighbour;

We built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;

We have become long on quantity, but short on quality;

These are times of fast foods, but slow indigestion;

Tall man but short character;

Steep profits but shallow relationships.

It's a time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room."

He expressed the need for incorporating inner values into education for the development of a sustainable economy and a flourishing society; he called it the "Education of the Heart."  His return visit would continue on this theme in a symposium designed in such a way that it could become an experience not just for the brain but also for the heart. For that reason they selected children and students to take part in the program, accompanied by inspiring music from Plezant and moments of dialogue and reflection with his Holiness. Out of some 40 inspiring examples in the education field in the Netherlands, prescribing to three principles: wholeness, relational and responsible, 13 inspiring alternative schools and education programs were presented. The day was both inspiring and lending hope that our educational system, and thus eventually our business sectors and other professional, as well as social communities in society will also change.

I'm going to share with you now a very rough 8 minute video I took of the Dalai Lama speaking. Don't give up. Listen and you will begin to understand his words. If you put on headphones and listen carefully you will hear a very important message, simple though it may be, and also feel his energy. For you can feel it. Infact, I knew the moment he arrived. I felt the room shift, my head expand and a lightness of being flood the room. I leaned over and penned at the bottom of Jaap's journal:  "Dalai Lama has just arrived."  

Jaap asked how I knew and I simply replied, "I felt it, don't you?"

Within 5 minutes it was announced we'd be taking our shortened lunch break now, to return quickly when we heard the bell sounding, as we did NOT want to keep his Holiness waiting now that he'd arrived. 

Please enjoy this small taste of his wisdom. I do apologize for the quality, but I filmed him on my cell phone.

"Change takes compassion and self confidence," says the Dalai Lama, and I whispered to him,  "Thank you. I needed to hear that."


Our time with him is ending. He rises and begins to remove his mic. People begin to rush the stage. In realizing I can become buried in a sea of people, I move up quickly, after all, I am only 10 feet from him.  Now, I am less than 4 feet from him, and looking up at him, listening.  He is reminding the young people in the audience not to do it the way the older generation did it. "We got it wrong," he tells them. "So do it a new way, a better way."  He bows with humility.

And then, he is looking directly at me, his eyes are on mine, he has leaned slightly forward.

"It's about teaching our children to use their head, their heart and their gut, isn't that right?" he asks me, nodding his head.

"Yes, that's right, " I reply back to him.

"Yes, that's right," he says, gives his smile, makes his prayer hands, then turns as he is escorted off the stage.

no matter what is going on
Never give up

Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country
is spent developing the mind
instead of the heart
Develop the heart

Be compassionate
not just to your friends
but to everyone
Be compassionate

Work for peace
in your heart and in the world
Work for peace

and I say again

Never give up
No matter what is happening
No matter what is going on around you

Never give up

The Dalai Lama

Thank you for reading... until the next installment of my Holland Adventures Blog...

Thursday, May 29, 2014

A Young Master

Ralf van der Duin

This is Ralf, my babyface, sweethearted, sensitive, incredibly intuitive Dutch son. lol  (Sorry Ralf if I embarrass you in this blog, it's not intentional, I'm just being honest.)

I first met Ralf in Costa Mesa, California during an introduction gathering to Healing Arts Basic & Advanced training on March 16th. He was one of three facilitators there, and the youngest; in fact, he was the youngest person in attendance and in many ways he had more wisdom than many of the older individuals in attendance. Ralf was a frequency all his own and one worth reckoning with.

From the moment I met Ralf, I felt connected with him. I knew him. He was instantly recognized as being family! His warmness radiated. Though that first time we had very little interaction, I watched him, witnessing his uncanny ability to intuit each situation and know exactly what was needed.

When I saw him again, two weeks later, at the Healing Arts~Liquid Light Frequencies Basic & Advanced Training in Pacific Palisades, during those four days I got to know him and interact with him on a more personal level; it was then, that our journey truly began.

And then again, two weeks later, while in Holland, our relationship became cemented in this lifetime through all lifetimes (past and future), and I have no doubt Ralf and I have and will continue to always know and love one another.

Ralf is a son and a brother and a father, a mother, a daughter, a sister... he is all these to me and more, he is "family" and always has been.

For those of us who have the opportunity to experience and know him, we are blessed.

To you, Ralf, what more can I say, except... "I love you my sweetie-pie!"  For all the incredible video work you do, for all the incredible work you do on  and ...


This is RALF van der DUIN!

With love,

... the Holland Journey blog posts will continue...

Monday, May 26, 2014

Becoming Vulnerable....

Who is she?
Where does she hide inside me?

Do something for me... play the following video, close your eyes, and feel where your Star Child is within you... is he hiding? is she wounded? is she afraid to show herself? 


more importantly, ask yourself, all dimensions of yourself:  "Am I afraid to become vulnerable?"

Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.  I just want to say to you, "You're not alone." I'd been frozen for a long time too!

But, I can truly say that I have completely thawed out... and the day I knew it to be true was the second day of:

Healing Arts ~ Liquid Light Frequencies

Coaching for Children

Part 1

with an incredible group of people in Holland. Because of this, I know it's time to become completely vulnerable and share my story, my truth.

I think it's time to tell who I am.... For you see, I've kept her locked safe inside for so long that there was a time I stopped thinking about her. When she re-emerged in the mid-80s I had no choice but to re-acknowledge her, but still, I refused to tell anyone. Why? Because I was certain that if I did those I told would consider me insane and eventually someone would seek to have me committed.

But I've gone home to my family, my Star Family, and each day I began to say little things, give little hints about "me" and now I can tell the full story. So here it goes...